When Best Friends Sabotage Each Others Diets
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Did you know that best friends can unintentionaly sabotage each other’s diet?
Knowing her friend loves ice cream, a woman asks the innocent question: “Do you want to get an ice cream?” The other person thinks: “I don’t want an ice cream, but since she is asking, she must want one herself.” So she responds: “I’ll have one if you have one.”
The “I want to do what will make my friend happy” mentality kicks in between friends. One dieter will succumb to the whim of another not for the love of ice cream, but because she wants her friend to be happy.
These scenarios have probably happened to you during dieting times:
• Your friend wants to meet for tea and orders blueberry muffins. You don’t want to make your friend feel awkward, so you eat a muffin as well.
• A buddy wants to try a restaurant’s much heralded Chocolate Lava Cake for Two and – as a friend – you agree to share the dessert.
• Your friend brings a high calorie appetizer to your party. You don’t want to hurt her feelings, so you eat it.
• And we can’t forget grandma making her amazing chocolate brownies and urging you to take one. How can you not?
Wanting to make a friend (or relative) feel good can undermine (destroy!) both your efforts.
The decision for friends to blow a diet can happen in an instant. Both parties are in a good place and a kind-hearted suggestion can have a disastrous impact as each party quickly responds not from self interest, but with what they think the other wants to hear.
So what do you do? The obvious answers are:
• Don’t suggest or ask or encourage if you don’t want to hear a “Yes” answer
• Realize it’s okay to say “no.” It will not end your friendship forever (and grandma will not disown you) if you don’t;try the appetizer or eat the brownies.
• Be honest with yourself: do you really want that lava cake? Are you calling your friend a saboteur when – the truth be told – you are choosing to go off your diet?
If you want an ice cream, that’s fine; it’s your choice. If your friend wants those treats – that’s her choice. No criticism. But do not be a saboteur and encourage a bad choice because you think you are being kind.
On the other hand, if bonding over ice cream is more important than it’s impact on your scales – ENJOY!