Resisting Temptations From Friends

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Resisting Temptations From Friends

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I went to a movie with a friend over the weekend. We purchased our tickets and I stepped into the restroom while she went to the refreshment stand.  When I came out, she handed me a bag of chewy candies. She felt that the candy would have fewer calories than a chocolate bar and I would enjoy it. I thanked her, but chose not to eat the candy, knowing that – although it was a little more diet friendly than some sweet treats – for me, it would create a diet backslide.

Six decades of yo-yo dieting and I knew that candy would undermine my diet effort. I absolutely could not bring myself to eat it – lower calorie or not. To succumb would have lead to binge eating the rest of the day – and beyond.

At the end of the movie, I embarrassingly gave the candy back to her (to give to her grandson) and explained that I had been chewing gum and forgot about it.  She graciously accepted the returned candy, but I felt terribly guilty. Her goal had been to please me, not undermine my diet.

I suppose I could have opened the package and covertly removed some of the candy and slipped it into the trash later – but that would have been too convoluted.

People equate food with love and caring. Making a dish especially for a dieter is the ultimate kindness. It shows forethought. A dieter’s refusal (no matter how lovingly expressed) is a slap in the face.  A while ago, I went to a large dinner party and the hostess had made vegetable lasagna (assuming – on my behalf- that it had fewer calories than meat lasagna). It was kind of her and I thanked her profusely. I took a slither – surrounded it with salad so I had a loaded plate – then pushed the lasagna around my plate leaving it as leftovers.

Dieters are constantly faced with this kind of situation – from a bag of candy to a hostess cooking something special. How do you say “no” without hurt feelings?  I have extreme guilt about how friends can be hurt by my choices. They can not only be hurt, but also feel insulted.

Sticking to a diet is challenging at the best of times, but also at the most loving of times when friends want to be supportive, but don’t understand the level of commitment – and willpower – that a dieter needs.

Faced with a bag of candy or vegetable lasagna from a caring friend? Be prepared to feel bad with your response – no matter which choice you make.






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